I can’t dance!

Finally, Annual day function is over and now I can breathe a sigh of relief. Things did not go the way I wanted them to, but that’s the way, I was prepared for it. Two things I was looking after; one, a dance no. “Ande ka Funda”  which turned out good and then, a play on “Akbar & Birbal”, that too was fine. The day was so chaotic that I couldn’t get a single proper click. With kids, they are either hungry, thirsty or ‘urgently’ in need to use the wash room, and all this with their costumes falling apart… Lol.

A few days prior to the final day, while we were practicing, something happened, and that I am going to share. While dance & play practices were running full fledged, ‘Vasant’ who was one of the participants in a dance performance and also playing the part of Birbal in my play comes to me and says, ” Teacher, I can’t dance, I don’t dance!” What he meant was, he wanted to back out of the dance performance. I had overheard other teachers complaining about him, but I wanted to hear it from him; “Why?” I asked, he fumbled, Aayaan (another boy) quickly said, “Teacher, so and so teacher said that he is bad, he cant dance, that’s why he doesn’t want to participate”.
I very well know how this feels, I have been there, I guess we all have been there. As kids, we are often told what-all we can’t do, even before giving a fare chance. We are told that, “you can’t dance”, “you can’t sing”, “you are not beautiful” or “you are poor at Maths or English” etc etc.. and those remarks get carved on the delicate little minds forever.

Even though such comments might not be intentional, to kids they are verdicts. When we say something like, “you cant dance”, we are planting a seed, a seed of fear. Fear of looking bad, fear of being judged, fear of stage, fear of not knowing something which every one else apparently to know. Recall that situation when all kids are playing, dancing and there is one kid standing in the corner, away from all, that kid is tagged as shy or introvert. I say… think again,  it might appear as just another incident but for ‘that kid’ its a lost moment.

“You are doing fine Vasant!” I said, “See… we all have different bodies and different ways our body moves, Aayaan’s dance steps are too fast, Darshan steps comes easy, and yours are little slow, but there is nothing like you can’t do! Ww just need to practice! Tell me which steps you are facing difficulty in and we will work it out.”

Aayaan: “Yes teacher my mother also says the same thing, with practice you can do everything but if you give up you loose!”

That’s it! We practiced and they merge into their playful state and never did I saw anyone hesitating or shying away. Children are smarter than we think, they already know what they need to know. As teachers we just need to remind them and trust them.

As I write this, I am lying down with a sprain in my heels due to all those dance moves in the practice sessions! I too was told by some one that I can’t dance; so I never did. After all these years, with this event, I came face to face with my fear and realized it’s not true! I am okay … I am just fine.

Grey hat: Sai Charan, next is Darshan, center :Goutam, Vasant and Dillip, behind stands Aayaan!

My Religion….

Children are innocent,curious, straight with their questions, they hold no diplomacy and they are amazingly talented.

On the very first day at school, S ( the naughty boy) asked me, “teacher, do you go to Church?” I couldn’t understand the question, confused, I replied, “No…yes.. at times, why??”. He too got puzzled and ran away.

Little nephew’s experiments & my religion of Love!

The second time, it was three girls, they asked, “Teacher, what is your religion?” I laughed in my head and just before an answer slipped out, I held back and asked them in return, “why do you want to know?” One of them said, “We are Muslims (pointing towards themselves), she ( pointing towards another girl) is Hindu,so what are you?”. I said, ” I am human”, while they wondered one smart girl said, human means Hindu! I could no more hold my laughter. Human is not Hindu, human means insaan (translated to Hindi) I said. While they reflected and made assumptions, one of them said but we all are humans aren’t we? but then we all have a religion, what is yours? Humanity is the religion- I said; but teacher…..they said…let’s get back to studies I concluded. Not all questions are to be answered, let them unfold, discover, rediscover and swim into the ocean of possibilities…..!

And this continues, every now and then some or the other kid comes upto me and asks me if I am Hindu or Muslim or Christian.  Once a little girl (who is Christian) was scattered when I said, I am Hindu. Her tiny eyes were wide open and looked straight at me and said, “no teacher, you are Christian?!!” Those are the times when I laugh and laugh and laugh….

And all this because I dont wear a bindi, yes the small red dot worn by Hindus on  the forehead….has created rift in the little heads! Well I do wear  bindis inevitably when in-laws are around or even in front of my mother,  its a bit too much to expect from them to change to all the new ways! I neither support nor am I against any form of display in any belief system, I respect the decision of individuals who choose to do whatever until and unless its harmful to any one or anything.

Now, its not about me, its about the religious identity amongst such small children, while discussing these things with DH, we wondered whether its good or bad, right or wrong? Honestly, we cant say for sure, the only thing I can say is of my own experience. I studied in a Christian school, a total opposite environment from my home. While my mother even in her sleep will cover her head with her saree palloo and at school we saw teachers in knee length skirts. We (my elder brother and me) sang prayers praising Jesus and at home bowed in front of Shiva, Krishna and Sri Ram. Saw children and teachers from all class of the society and different religions. All this is difficult for a child, you don’t know your group, your true identity… all my life I lived with this one question, “Is this? Or is there something else?”

Today at this point, I can tell one thing for sure, differences are good. Discomfort is good. Like a blank  slate children should be allowed to draw as many different shapes as possible in their mind’s slate, because life is full of differences, there is no one way or fixed pattern, let kids SEARCH, CHOOSE and ACCEPT!

Life is all about that…isn’t it?

I am officially a teacher now!

How does it sound when an adult says,”I don’t know what to do with my life?”
Irresponsible…..Confused?? Whatever, its the truth for many and so it is to me.

To any child parents are the role model and they want to grow up to become them. I was no different, I wanted to be like my mother, a homemaker. But, as I grew, I could see I am not the ‘kind’. I was just not the kind. I very strongly feel my mother or my mother-in-law all the women of that era were the last of their kind. They had so much endurance, patience, they were compassionate, they hold a different conviction, their silence had way more power than any word. They were ‘proper’. I am not proper, I am everything but them, even as a kid, I had questions and I demanded answers. With changing time new generations are born…I guess. The battle between what I want to be and who I was, took me to places, from call center to hr then trained in Yoga and became a Yoga trainer, worked with ngo’s, a  Pranic healer and the list goes on and all this in the search of my own self…. and now I am a Teacher.

I was always doubtful about my abilities on being a teacher, I lack patience and my opinion on education is not very much in support of this current system, where there is so little space for exploration and creativity or self learning.

Lets see, if this is it or something else is stored for me!

Now on I’ll be sharing my experiences, opinions, concerns and funny moments. Today I want to share some very funny challenges I face everyday and how much I love them. I have already told you my expertise in attracting troubles, it’s no surprise that I’m the class teacher of the naughtiest class  of all,no, I dont say that, every one in the school says so. I dont have any problem with children being naughty, i think they should be naughty but as a teacher with 40 minutes in hand and a syllabus to cover….no, I cant allow screaming, howling, running to toilet every now and then, spilling water, talking….even if I want to. Out of these many unique children there are these three who stand out. And today’s post is all about them.

These 3 boys, mind it only boys who are taking me to another level of humanity. First boy, lets call him ‘S’, a bright student, naughty as hell. He has wheels attached to his feet. He knows what not to do, when not to do and why not to do so that he can do it all! He is constantly moving around the class and complaining about others. He knows his round face, dusky complexion, healthy build, naughty eyes can buy him sympathy so he does what he does.

Second boy, ‘L’, a thin lad, sharp features, and mischievous eyes,  very silent never utters a word. He only provokes others to scream! He acts like the future don! He sits like one, his shirts are not tugged in, his tie loose. No matter how much I punish him the moment class is over he gives me a damn. But I have found out, he is a quite a bright student and just needs extra attention.

Third on, ‘K’.The crying boy. He is always crying. He is small, thin,military hair cut. He enters the class crying, he spills water from his bottle 10 times within 5 minutes of entering the class, he looses his pencil or eraser or ruler or sharpener or something or the other and cries. He talks non stop. And he is a gem at heart, infact all of them are. Lets see whats stored up for me as these 3 boys are keeping me on my toes.

Next: “Whats you religion teacher?”